my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
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Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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