Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
ok first of all what the fuck
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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