jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
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If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
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Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
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