What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
im on a boat
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