She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize