Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize