Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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