I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
well I can't set my house on fire every night
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
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