Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize