he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize