I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize