Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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