I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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