is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize