I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Randomize