You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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