2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
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