Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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