He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize