Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize