I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
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