i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
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I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
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Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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