How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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