Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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