awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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