his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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