I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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