I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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