**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize