I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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