I hate all girls vehemently.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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