how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
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