I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
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Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize