I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Randomize