I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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