oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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