Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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