oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
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