hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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