I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
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