Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
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you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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