Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
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Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
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Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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