How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Randomize