this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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