i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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