4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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