??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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