the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
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