Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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