we have pet lesbian snakes
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
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